Pulpit of Joy

Phoenix 2010

2010-08-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

We are honored to stand on the side of love in Phoenix.

I will concede that it was an unusual way to spend three days of my vacation. Unusual, but not in the least regrettable. My husband and I decided to answer the call of my colleague, the Rev. Susan Fredrick-Gray, of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Phoenix, to stand, march, and witness events surrounding the enactment of SB1070. Over the past several years I have participated in justice work related to marriage equality, the human right to water, and moral budgeting. I've marched in parades, in protests, have lobbied elected officials, have phone banked, stood in silent witness, chanted while standing on corners of busy intersections, and attended town hall meetings. All of the causes were important and all of the work changed me in some way. But nothing compared to my time in Phoenix, now one week ago.

No, I was not arrested. I was there from Wed. afternoon to early Fri. morning; participating in just a few of the planned activities. Yes, it was stifling hot and humid, at times uncomfortable, intimidating, and alternately wearying and energizing. I keep reminding myself that I was there, in the thick of things, for just a matter of hours! I had a very small taste of what day-to-day living is like for many people in Arizona. And let's face it, SB1070 is about much more than Arizona. The people affected by our broken immigration system are all over our country. They are residents and undocumented; men, women, and children; employers and employees.

The stories being shared by my friends, colleagues, and those whose names I don't know but who stood on the side love last week in Phoenix, are deeply moving. I encourage you to visit uua.org and standingonthesideoflove.org to get a glimpse.

Standing with my San Diego colleagues in Phoenix.

This is my experience in a nutshell. Nearly one hundred of us (clergy and laity) gathered on Wed. afternoon. It was a gathering of greeting, singing, sharing apprehensions, excitement, and learning how we might be effective over the next couple of days. The training around civil disobedience was powerful. I did not realize that entering the United States without having gone through the proper immigration procedures is not a crime. That's right. It is not a crime punishable by our criminal justice system. It is a civil offense. I also had not known that along with SB1070 going into effect on July 29, albeit with some of the most offensive and oppressive pieces removed just a day earlier, some other interesting laws were enacted in Arizona on July 29: you can now purchase liquor at 6am on Sundays, and there's no need for a permit to carry an unconcealed weapon! Hm-m-m-m. It was going to be an interesting couple of days.

Standing near the demonstrators in front of Arpaio's office.

Rev. Peter Morales, Pres. of the UUA stands in front of the county jail shortly before being arrested.

On Thurs. morning we marched alongside hundreds of people of all ages, colors, and backgrounds. We made our way to the Wells Fargo building where Sheriff Joe Arpaio's office is located. The first demonstration took place in the street in front of that building and I made my decision not get arrested but to witness and stand in support of those who did, and on behalf of those who are most directly affected by SB1070. News media from all over the globe seemed to be everywhere I turned. Police in riot gear started flocking to the scene of the demonstration and that's when I saw my former congregant, Mar Cardenas, arrested. She wasn't part of the demonstration but had stepped into the street to take a picture. As Mar is a Latina woman I found myself greatly fearing for her safety. My heart was racing. She was the first of many of my friends and colleagues that would be arrested that day. There were moments when I was overwhelmed with emotion as I imagined the terror felt by children whose undocumented parents are taken away from them; the law enforcement officials who struggle with the moral issues their job presents on a daily basis; the daunting work that needs to be done to open the hearts and minds of so many around this issue and all issues of social justice.

It was at the 4th Ave. County Jail where we arrived to intoxicating drumbeats and chanting coming from a group of young local protesters, and we witnessed another demonstration. I saw my colleague, Rev. Susan, and our denominational president, Peter Morales, along with a handful of others, blocking an entrance to the jail. At one point an Asian woman standing next to me asked if I would be willing to join her standing behind the demonstrators for a little while with our standing on the side of love signs. I agreed and we did. As my husband and I left the scene shortly before Susan, Peter, and the others were arrested we headed for our car and were thanked by two passersby on the sidewalk. Neither of the two said anything other than "thank you:", but they each said it with a level of sincerity that left me with nothing to say. I simply gave a nod. I knew from that simple "thank you" that while our time in Phoenix was done our work must continue.

I kept updated throughout the remainder of the day, and into the next, via Facebook posts. We left Phoenix early on Fri. morning knowing that some of those we had marched and stood with had been released from jail, and others were still waiting to be arraigned. My husband and I left Phoenix anxious to be safely back in our home; anxious to hug our teenage son and hold our family tight. We talked about how blessed we are and how we must not forget that there is much work to be done by Anglo allies like ourselves.

Some people have said there was victory in Judge Bolton's ruling. I would say it is a small step in the right direction but to claim victory is to say "it's over". It is not. Some, like Sheriff Joe, according to the accounts of some of my colleagues, have said "Why are you here (Phoenix) risking arrest for a bunch of Mexicans?" I would say those are my sisters and brothers and as a person of faith I am called to stand with and for those who are oppressed, vulnerable, and marginalized.   Some, like a few of my own relatives, have said "Standing on the side of love? Love of what? Lawlessness?" I would say that standing on the side of love is about love for each and every one of us, for we all have inherent worth and dignity. And I would say, yes, the immigration system is in severe disrepair and desperately needs to be reformed. But without a foundation of compassion and respect from which to work from, we are doomed to become a society of disposable people and hardened hearts. I can't help but wonder sometimes if we aren't already there.

Because something is "the law" or legal doesn't make it moral. Can you say Jim Crow Laws and slave holding? How about corporate financing of politicians? Make no mistake, I do know that there are many sides to the immigration issue and many good people on those sides, but as I continue to choose to stand on the side of love,  I will also choose to show compassion and respect to those who disagree with me.

I was told recently, with regard to my involvement in the events in Phoenix, that "Love is not a solution. It's just an excuse for another agenda". My response is that love is the only solution.   No excuses. As a person of faith I am called to stand on the side of love today, tomorrow, and for all of my days. What about you?  Christians, tell me what would Jesus do? And Buddhists, what would Buddha do? What would Krishna, Gandhi, or Chief Seattle do?

There is more love, hope, and joy somewhere and I'm gonna keep on til I find it.

Holy Moments

2010-07-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

You might not consider it a holy moment, being in a room with nearly 4,000 people. You might think it impossible to experience something holy browsing alongside several hundred other people in an exhibit hall filled with book distributors, representatives from theological schools, gift vendors galore, and more Unitarian Universalist affinity groups than I can even recall. And yet, somehow it was.

Our lives are filled with holy moments. Not all joyful, but most certainly holy. If you're not familiar with the musical artist, Peter Mayer, or more specifically with his song Holy Now, check out the link to hear his voice and read the moving lyrics:

http://thegreatstory.org/video/holy-now.mp4

I attend my denomination's annual General Assembly each year, arriving a few days early, along with other religious professionals (several hundred of us), before the thousands of laypersons arrive. It was in that time, during a beautiful worship service, that the idea of recognizing holy moments in our everyday lives was introduced. My colleagues and I reflected on the holy moments that we experience as ministers. Like the time I rehearsed some music for a Sunday service with Richard & Elaine (my favorite old time musicians). The three of us sat in the sanctuary on a quiet weekday morning for nearly two hours, just singing and singing. With Richard on his banjo, Elaine on guitar, and our voices melding together in sweetness and harmony.  It was a holy moment. My colleagues and I also thought about the holy moments we experience in our lives outside the church – with family, in nature, the quiet respites.

The holy moments in our lives are all about connections; relationships with each other, with the stranger, with our mother earth, with our own souls and best selves. Our lives are filled with holy moments as we connect and deepen relationships. This isn't a new revelation for me. It probably isn't new for you either. Funny how it took a gathering in Minneapolis of nearly 4,000 Unitarian Universalists to reintroduce me to the idea that everything, everything, everything is holy now.   I'm spending time recognizing the lovely, challenging, painful, and joyful holy moments in my life - everyday.  What are some of the holy moments in your everyday life?

New Hope for Humanism

2010-07-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

I've just about finished a book that I don't want to finish. By that I mean that I don't want the book to end. It's not a great novel or classic piece of literature. It's "Good Without God" by Greg M. Epstein. Is is the best book I've ever read? No, definitely not. I've read alot of really great books over the years but this book is particularly timely for our society, and has been timely for me personally as well. This book brings me joy as it breathes a new breath of life into Humanism as a faith. Yes, that's right, a faith!.

At the Unitarian Universalist Association's General Assembly last month in Minneapolis, my husband and I (both avowed Humanists) had the pleasure of seeing and hearing Mr. Epstein speak about his book. I picked up a copy of the book even before hearing him. What peaked my interest was finding out that Greg Epstein is the Humanist chaplain at Harvard University. Who knew?! And what a fascinating and exciting concept.

Just knowing that there is a growing group of young Humanists who, with the guidance of their chaplain, are engaging with one another and with those who are not Humanists, in acts of compassion to better the world, gives me new hope. It gives me new and much needed hope for a Humanism that I have come to know through Unitarian Universalism. I am deeply grateful for having discovered Humanism and being able to finally put a name to the faith I have embraced for so many years of my life. Unfortunately though, that Humanism has, in my experience, been largely angry, overly cynical, dull, and crusty (and not like a loaf of fresh bread!). It is a sad tale of unhappiness, and fear that Christianity is 'taking over' the denomination. I am sorry to say that too many Humanists I have known have belittled their theist sisters & brothers; missing incredible opportunities to work together transforming the world, and maybe just being transformed in the process.

Humanism is a faith that is alive and beautiful. For me, Humanism is faith in humanity; celebrating our strengths and being humbled by our inadequacies. It puts the onus on each and every one of us to make this world a place worth inhabiting. It denies the supernatural but admits that we don't know everything. This is the faith that speaks to me, challenges me, and sustains me. I encourage theists and humanists alike to read Epstein's book, but especially the humanists. Read it and smile! Read it and be joyful in and about your faith!

Grep Epstein claims: "Humanism offers a comfort and hope that affirms our ability to live ethical lives of personal fulfillment, aspiring together for the greater good of all." Amen, chaplain. And blessed be!

The Power Of A Hug

2010-07-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

A dear couple from my congregation recently sent me a message that let me know they cared about me and were always available to give me a hug. This message came just a couple of weeks after I formally announced my resignation as minister of the congregation. It is a time of loss and grief for me and for many in the congregation, so you might imagine my joy at receiving such a message from congregants. And then, embedded in the message was this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hN8CKwdosjE
Please take the time to watch it, or re-watch it if you've seen it before. Send it to anyone you know who could use a hug and isn't in close enough proximity for you to give them a hug in person. The power of a hug cannot be overstated.

It saddens me that because of sexual harrassment and fear of inappropriate touching our society is fast becoming hugless! I'm not convinced that a hugless society is a safe society. There's a plethora of scientific studies that proclaim the value and importance of human touch in the lives of those who live alone, those with disabilities, the elderly, and children.   We could all use a hug now and again!

In seminary I was told that giving my congregants hugs was something I needed to be careful about.  I understand the reasoning behind the cautionary advice, and I am always aware of my role as minister, but I am not willing to be hugless. I couldn't agree more that giving an unwanted hug is definitely not a good idea! But from my experience, both personal and professional,  asking for permission either verbally or simply by opening your arms will most often result in a hug. If a hand is extended I know that a hand-hug will have to do.

Joy can be found in connecting with another person and a simple hug has the potential and power to bring joy to life. I plan to give and receive more hugs. I'm not promising to stand in the town square with a "Free Hugs" sign, but you never know!

Give a hug today. Feel the joy that a hug can bring!

Let It Go

2010-06-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

So much to blog about - So little time! This is simply my way of saying there is so much going on, with so many opportunities to find joy. This is not to say that much of what seems to be "going on" in many of our lives feels chaotic, uncertain, or confusing. Change is everywhere! The big question is how do we handle change? How do you handle change?
In a recent sermon I spoke about change as transition, and the need to let go in order to be open to the possibilities that will present themselves as a result of change. I didn't say that letting go was easy. Letting go is a practice that requires intentionality and faith. I'm referring to faith as trust - trust in your best self, trust in those you love, trust in the universe and whatever you consider the Great Mystery or Divine in your life.
One of the most common quotes used in situations of loss, change, and transition, comes from poet Mary Oliver:
To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it, and, when the times comes to let it go, to let it go.
I must admit that I am learning to let go. It's a difficult practice for me, but I know that it is a necessary practice. There is humility in letting go; a humility that most of us could use a little more of. So many lessons in the practice of letting go. I'd love to hear about your struggles and successes with letting go, change, and the opportunities that open through transition.
May you know joy in your letting go and on the other side of transition!

Juggling Life

2010-06-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

Life is nothing short of a juggling act - a juggling act that begins when we are children, juggling friends, music lessons, sport practice, schoolwork. That juggling act becomes more complex as we take on more roles and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel like we’re juggling giant glass balls, or dangerously sharp knives, or huge fire torches. The stress can seem overwhelming as we struggle to keep everything moving through the air. We can’t let even one fall or there will be disaster – glass will shatter, knives will cut, fire will burn, someone will be hurt. And there are days, or weeks, or months, when we feel like the acrobat on the high wire juggling chain saws! Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. A popular website for jugglers has as its slogan: "Keep throwing up"! And that’s exactly what it feels like sometimes when we're in the throws (no pun intended) of juggling.

Let's face it, we will always juggle, whether it's just 2 balls or 20. And so there is a deep need for balance in that juggling. A need for balance in our lives. The famous opera singer, Jessye Norman, has said "Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself." I am working on that balance in my own life and know that it is no easy task. It's a balance that can require big decisions and possible transitions. The process of finding that balance can be painful in the short run. I've never been fond of the catch phrase 'no pain no gain', and yet I find it to be too true in many of life's situations.

One of my favorite descriptions of balance comes from author Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift of the Sea). Lindbergh describes balance as "an alternating rhythm between… solitude and communion, between retreat and return." There is joy to be found in balance; in that alternating rhythm.
May we all know that joy.

Big decisions

2010-06-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life's journey presents a stretch of road that requires big decision-making. I'm talking about life changing, or at least tweaking, capital "B", big decisions. It's the fork in the road that has your stomach doing flip flops ad nauseam (literally)! I imagine that most of us don't have to face those big decisions too often. But when we do, it's not typically a joyous task. It can be arduous, gut-wrenching, sometimes heart breaking, and even a bit depressing. O, Joy, where art thou?

Joy may not be in the moment of discerning where to turn in the road, but joy is in seeing how far along the road you've already come, breathing in the present moment of life, and looking ahead to the possibilities further down the road.

There is no guarantee that the decision to take one path over another will be successful. Without doubt it will hold opportunities for mistakes. But somewhere along the path joy will spring anew. I'm going to keep my eyes and heart open. How do you face those big decisions in your life and where in that process do you find joy?

May 31 Joy

2010-05-31T23:26:00.000-07:00

Today is the final day of my May joy postings. During the month of June I'll post weekly, though I'll be looking for joy every single day, as usual.

Today I found joy at Mission Beach. Hadn't been there in quite some time and even with the hordes of people it was relaxing. The sound of the waves, the amazing sunshine, and the delicious philly cheese steak sandwiches, were nothing short of joy. I won't wait so long to return to Mission Beach. It's time to ride the coaster at Belmont Park again!
Where did you find joy today?

May 30 Joy

2010-05-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in being with my congregation as we celebrated the 200th birthday of Margaret Fuller. An amazing woman whose actual birthday was May 23. Margaret Fuller is one of my sheroes!

Where did you find joy today?

May 29 Joy

2010-05-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in conversation with a soon-to-be-wed couple. Seeing the love, excitement, and commitment in the faces of this young couple was joy, joy! Ah-h-h-h-h-h, young love - nothing quite like it.
Where did you find joy today?

May 28 Joy

2010-05-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the few minutes of complete quiet and relaxation at the opening and closing of my yoga class. Those four or five minutes are a real gift. My yoga practice itself is a gift, but the opening and closing pose,......ah-h-h-h-h!
Where did you find joy today?

May 27

2010-05-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today, after riding an emotional roller coaster and feeling quite confused, I found joy! I found joy in the smile and confidence of my son who was named winner of the Louis Armstrong award at his high school last night. This award is given to the jazz musician whose talent and love for jazz excels. His name will be added to a permanent plaque that is kept in the music department for all to see. You know I'm one proud Momma right now!
But it's not the pride that brings me joy. It's the confidence this award and its recognition gives my son that brings me joy. The young men and women that will have a hand in shaping the future for all of us need to hear that their talents and passions are recognized, appreciated, and valued. "Clean up your room" and "Stop that texting." are not to be completely abandoned. But "You are an amazing person" is so much more important.
Where did you find joy today?

May 26 Joy

2010-05-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in planning a trip to Chicago. What a great city! Had I not attended seminary there I might never have known all that Chicago has to offer and I wouldn't have met the amazing people who live, work,and play there. No doubt I'll find some joy in the Windy City this summer.
Where did you find joy today?

May 25 Joy

2010-05-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the gift that was given to me at 7:47am twenty-three years ago today. My beautiful daughter, Brooke Elisabeth, was born. She is a gift of joy to me, her family & friends, and to the world!
Where did you find joy today?

May 24 Joy

2010-05-24T23:33:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in cooking with my teen son. Baked ziti is a favorite comfort food in our house and preparing it alongside my son brings me joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 23 Joy

2010-05-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the hug of a little blondie named Gracie! The affirmation a child gives with their hug is priceless.
Where did you find joy today?

May 22 Joy

2010-05-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a day that has exhausted me to the bone. I woke up to a story in the newspaper that a musically gifted young man my husband had recently begun working with was shot and killed by police. Nate had been in my home just a week ago and several occasions before that, playing his guitar and sharing the original compositions he was working on. My heart is heavy with this loss. Rest in peace, Nate.

The exhaustion comes from the roller coaster of emtions that have taken me on quite a ride with the news of Nate's death and then the pure joy of my son's high school music concert this afternoon. Hearing my 15-year-old solo on "Pure Imagination" (from the Willy Wonka movie) was sweet enough to bring tears to my eyes for the second time today! Today I found joy in music played by talented young men and women at Helix Charter High School.

Where did you find joy today?

May 21 Joy

2010-05-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy watching this adorable video about baby sloths. http://vimeo.com/11712103

Who knew that a sloth coul be so adorable?! Babies and animals - Joy. Baby animals - Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 20 Joy

2010-05-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the company of an amazing group of elders from my congregation. These elders humble and inspire me. I truly love them and being with them brings me joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 19 Joy

2010-05-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the smile of a cherub-faced toddler waiting in line at the grocery store, with her mother. That wee one had no idea just how much her smile was needed today. I would bet that I'm not the only one that was touched by that smile. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 18 Joy

2010-05-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

Today I searched and searched and searched. I did find joy in the following quote shared at a meeting with some good people that I admire and care deeply for: I slept and dreamt that life wasy joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy. (Rabindranath Tagore)
Where did you find joy today?

May 17 Joy

2010-05-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in playing every song in both my Chopin and Beethoven piano books. I don't do it often enough because I forget just how much joy it brings me, occasional sour note and all. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 16 Joy

2010-05-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in red velvet frozen yogurt. Yes, I said "red velvet frozen yogurt"! Comfort food....yum. New discovery: Comfort can be a source of joy.
Where did you find joy today?

May 15 Joy

2010-05-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in officiating the beauitfully simple & classic wedding ceremony of Valerie and Khris. What a privilege to share in such a sacred moment in people's lives. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 14 Joy

2010-05-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the half hour that I sat scrunched on the couch with my husband, son, and fluffy pup, watching reality tv that made all of us laugh out loud. We needed that laughter. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 13 Joy

2010-05-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well, today was a test. Finding joy when you feel as though you've been punched in the stomach is no easy task, take it from me! But, of course, joy can be found,.....eventually. Today I found joy in hearing the voice of my loving husband - caring, consoling, unconditional love and appreciation. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 12 Joy

2010-05-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in an unexpected phone call from my baby bro. He makes me laugh until my face hurts!
Where did you find joy today?

May 11 Joy

2010-05-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in snuggling in bed with a good book and my fluffy pup. The book is good but the fluffy pup is pure joy!

Lucy - 8 weeks old. Lucy - 4 years old.

Where did you find joy today?

May 10 Joy

2010-05-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in knitting outside with just the sound of the clicking needles and singing birds. The bright mango-colored, soft-as-silk yarn added to my joy. I am learning to be aware of and love the little things in life! Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 9 Joy

2010-05-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy,.......well, I'm a granddaughter blessed with a funny firecracker-dancing grandma; a daughter blessed with a loving Mary Poppins-meets-Scarlett O'Hara mother; a mom blessed with beautiful and precious, quirky-in-the-best-way, children! What more can I say? Today I cried tears of joy.
Where did you find joy today?

May 8 Joy

2010-05-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in watching a plucky little hummingbird cavorting in our courtyard. He may not be the prettiest of hummingbirds but he's persistent, enthusiastic, and full of what looks like joy! Where did you find joy today?

May 7 Joy

2010-05-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in reading a book written by a new, and already dear, friend. Nothing Like Sunshine by Rabbi Ben Kamin was for me a profound book laced with levity and a contagious love for life.
Joy, joy! Where did you find joy today?

May 6 Joy

2010-05-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Today, or more specifically tonight, I found joy in the decision of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) to stand on the side of love and boycott our 2012 assembly gathering scheduled to meet in Arizona.

This is the resolution passed by the UUA Board at this evening's special meeting:

Whereas the state of Arizona has recently enacted a law—SB 1070—

that runs counter to our first principle, affirming the worth and dignity of every person;

Whereas the Association stands in solidarity with allies using a widespread economic boycott of Arizona as leverage for Love against this hateful legislation;
Be it resolved: we will not meet in a state of fear.
Accordingly, the Assembly hereby:

• Directs the UUA General Assembly Planning Committee to recommend to the Board of Trustees an alternate location for General Assembly 2012 at a location outside the state of Arizona;
• Pledges to generate from Member Congregations the amount sufficient to cancel arrangements in Phoenix for GA 2012;
• Pledges further to generate an equal or greater amount to fund ongoing efforts to Stand on the Side of Love in Arizona.
• Pledges to renew and redouble our efforts to become a multicultural, anti-racist Association; to live as a people standing faithfully in opposition to systemic racism in our congregations, local communities, and in our own lives.

I am proud to be a Unitarian Universalist minister. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 5 Joy

2010-05-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in 35 uninterrupted minutes of sitting in the sunshine, listening to the gurgling of the fountain in our tiny fish pond. Vitamin D - joy, joy!

Where did you find joy today?

May 4 Joy

2010-05-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the alto sax scales heard drifting from my teenage son's bedroom. I hadn't even asked him to practice! Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 3 Joy

2010-05-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in a potato ricer! Yes, that's right, a potato ricer! It's not profound and not bound to make any remarkable difference in the wider world, but the mashed potatoes I served my family for dinner were delicately delicious in large part because of my potato ricer. Sometimes it's the little things like mashed potatoes, or kitchen gadgets, that bring me joy.
Where did you find joy today?

May 2 Joy

2010-05-02T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the inspiring smiles of the new members of my congregation. I just love how someone's smile can touch me. A smile is a gift that so many of us need to give and receive. Joy, joy!
Where did you find joy today?

May 1 Joy

2010-05-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today I found joy in the beautiful and delicious food prepared by an incredibly generous and creative couple. There really is nothing like breaking bread with four dozen people you care for deeply. It's especially nice when someone else does the preparing, cooking, and cleaning! Joy, Joy!
And where did you find joy today?

Long Time No Blog!

2010-04-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

One of my congregants recently expressed concern over my not having posted anything in the past two months. She wondered if I hadn't had any joy in my life to blog about. I assured her that was not the case. Maybe there's been so much joy, among other things not so joyous, that I haven't stopped the merry-go-round long enough to post. That's both a confession of sorts and a reminder to myself that blogging is a type of spiritual practice like any other. It can hardly be called a 'practice' if engagement isn't on a regular, and even routine, basis!

What is your spiritual practice these days? Do you find yourself getting caught up in the daily drama of life to the point that your practice is out of practice? Maybe some types of spiritual practice are a wee bit more difficult to keep up with. But I have to admit that it strikes me funny when I read my own writing that claims blogging is a spiritual practice. Even with my Kindle, smart phone, and Facebook account, I struggle to keep up with today's technology and the latest communication tools. But blogging can be a spiritual practice not unlike keeping a journal. Of course the difference is that blogging is a public practice! I've begun contemplating the idea of public vs. private spiritual practice and am feeling a bit ambivalent about the whole thing. Is it necessary, or at the very least advisable, for a minister to have a public spiritual practice?

Here's where I atone for my blogger backsliding. I have decided to commit to my spiritual practice of blogging by posting one sentence every day during the month of May. That one sentence will share where I found joy in my life that day. I'll also try to write a more extensive post on a weekly basis. No doubt there will be days when I'll be posting at the eleventh hour with toothpicks holding my eyes open, or even lamenting, "Where's the damn joy in this?". But you can always check in and see if I've stayed true to my commitment.

Notice the questions in this post? Those questions are for YOU! Let's dialogue. I'm waiting to hear from you. And please do not follow my bad example and wait two months to reply!

Valentine's Day Makeover

2010-02-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

For those who were at Summit UU Fellowship yesterday for our worship service, this post will 'sound' familiar! This is an excerpt from my sermon "Reimagining Valentine's Day". To my mind it is important enough to repeat.

My congregation has four incredible individuals who are currently serving as representatives to the statewide Marriage Equality Leadership Team. They helped with the special worship service and hearing their reasons for being involved in this work was moving. Contrary to what you might be thinking, only one of the four is gay. The other three are straight allies. One rep. got involved as a way to honor a lesbian friend who passed away recently. Another rep. has served our country in the armed forces and in the local police force; serving to defend our national and state constitution that calls for equality for all. I am so proud of these men and women! They inspire me.

I do hope to hear from you, readers, as to who inspires you to stand on the side of love and take risks for the sake of others. Please leave a comment on this blog, rather than send me a personal email. It's nice for all those who are reading Pulpit of Joy to see what you have to say!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that there are many people who don't care much for Valentine’s Day. As one who does love the holiday, it's hard for me to empathize! I have always loved Valentine's Day. Maybe my inner child just refuses to grow up. Maybe I get a kick out of giving my loved ones candy and heart-shaped cards. Maybe I love the special attention I recieve from those who love me. Maybe I'm just addicted to chocolate! But I've been thinking for a few weeks about looking at this holiday as a day that embraces a love that goes beyond flowers, cards, and chocolate. How about reimagining Valentine's Day?

Standing on the Side of Love is a Unitarian Universalist public advocacy campaign that has indeed called us (all people of faith) to re-imagine this day as a national "standing on the side of love" holiday–a day that celebrates the power of love to transform communities. In case you are not familiar with this new campaign, you should know that it works with congregations and communities to confront exclusion, oppression, or violence based on identity – whether that identity has to do with sexual orientation gender identification, immigration status, religion race, ability or any other label that society uses to limit their rights. It's a powerful campaign with the potential to make a real difference in the world. (You can check it out: http://standingonthesideoflove.org/)

The love that is needed on Valentine's Day is one that takes risks for the sake of others. In a recent letter from Rev. Lindi Ramsden of the Unitarian Universalist Legislative Ministry of California, she shares "Legend has it that the original Valentine was martyred at the hand of the Romans who arrested him for performing illegal wedding ceremonies for Christian couples. Marriage and religious liberty have had a long history."

Love requires that we boldly stand on its side; engaging in acts of salvation and liberation. It is imperative that the difference between liberal and liberating be known. Ministers Marjorie Bowens-Wheatley and Mark Morrison-Reed have defined liberal as “freedom to”, as in freedom to believe what you want or freedom to define your own spiritual path; while liberating means “freedom from”. Think freedom from the structures of oppression; freedom from the threat of harm or death; freedom from struggling just to stay alive or to keep your family alive.

“What is the depth of your love?” This question was asked by the scholar and activist, Cornel West. “What price are you willing to pay? What burden are you willing to bear? Be honest about it.” Standing on the side of love means taking a hard look at the depths of your love and looking into your own heart to find the answer to those questions. Consider who it is that inspires you to stand on the side of love. Maybe it is your daughter who is gay, or your nephew. Maybe it's the same sex couple that live next door. Maybe it's someone in your congregation or workplace. Maybe it's a straight ally.

From Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” - "But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice: “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” Was not Paul an extremist: “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist? “Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God.” And Abraham Lincoln:”This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.” And Thomas Jefferson:”We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal…” So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice, or for the extension of justice?"

I will choose to be an extremist for love and will reimagine Valentine's Day from here on out. How can I choose otherwise?

May all of my sisters and brothers know the joy of a liberating love.

Palindrome hits home

2010-02-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

A dear congregant included me in an email she sent out some weeks ago with the following youtube video attached. It had been sent to her from other friends with this message: "This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant."

I vaguely remember learning about palindromes and can't remember when I last saw/read one. I was intrigued, as I hope you will be, when I learned that this 1 minute and 44 second video is a palindrome! Just in case you've forgotten, a palindrome reads the same backward as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.

The reason that I've chosen to share this video on my blog is because I found the idea clever and the message powerful. I'm not that far from being 50 years old myself, and reading, as well as hearing, the words of this 20 year old, inspired me and brought me joy. The video has actually reminded me to live in the skin of my best self, to act from the depths of my compassion, and to nuture & reinvigorate my own creativity. Wow! That's quite a tally of lessons learned from one brief AARP-sponsored video contest winner, isn't it?

Sharing those moments and events in our lives that do teach us something valuable, make us think, inspire us, or challenge us, is important. And sometimes those "moments and events" are emails! I think it's great that through the use of technology we can share with people all over the globe. Our idea of community widens and our ability to share and care is broadened. This is the positive and productive side of social networking and twenty-first century technology. It's so nice to focus on the positive. And that's just what this palindrome did for me.

Take a minute and forty-four seconds to watch the video and see if there might be a lesson for you, or perhaps just a bit of inspiration, comfort, challenge, or even joy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA

Please let me hear from you. I want to know what you think.

Prop 8 isn't over!

2010-01-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already read "The Conservative Case for Marriage Equality" in Newsweek magazine, please do so. It doesn't matter whether you're a Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian, religiously progressive or conservative. This is an article worth reading.

www.newsweek.com/id/229957

Living in California, and as a minister with the authority to sign marriage licenses, I feel very invested in the Prop 8 trial and the struggle for marriage equality that affects so many same sex couples and their families. I have blogged about this issue before, have made a public stand and refuse to sign any marriage license until there is marriage equality in this state. I have also contributed my time and my finances to the cause. For every social justice issue that we face, each of us needs to reflect on our own heart and act in a way that demonstrates our best self - a person of compassion and respect. Each and every one of us is called by our best selves to do whatever it is that we are capable of doing. The marriage equality issue is no exception.

The struggle is difficult and there is fear, anger, and confusion on both sides of the issue. But the bottom line is not a biblical passage taken out of context or a particular religious persuasion. The bottom line is that each and every citizen of this country are afforded fundamental rights by way our our country's consitution. From the article mentioned: "The United States Supreme Court has repeatedly held that marriage is one of the most fundamental rights that we have as Americans under our Constitution. It is an expression of our desire to create a social partnership, to live and share life's joys and burdens with the person we love, and to form a lasting bond and a social identity. The Supreme Court has said that marriage is a part of the Constitution's protections of liberty, privacy, freedom of association, and spiritual identification. In short, the right to marry helps us to define ourselves and our place in a community. Without it, there can be no true equality under the law."

You can keep an eye on the Prop 8 trial by following the Prop 8 Trial Tracker: http://prop8trialtracker.com/

Social change is never easy work. It never happens overnight and it never happens without some discomfort, frustration, and at least a few tears. But there is joy in change, and I look forward to the day when I can join my sisters and brothers in joyful celebration of marriage equality!

Let me hear from you. I would appreciate reading your comments on the article and this post.

Aching Hearts

2010-01-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

It is hard to imagine living in abject poverty. It's hard for most of us, that is. It's even harder to imagine that in that life of poverty the ground shakes, the earth shifts, and a deeper devastation becomes reality. To see the coverage, to hear the stories, to feel the loss of the Haitian people is nothing less than heart breaking. I do wonder how people like Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh are considered fully human when it appears by their actions and their speech that a heart is not to be found within them. To belittle, mock, and dismiss our sisters and brothers who are suffering incredible loss is nothing short of shameful. On a very different level, my heart aches with sorrow for Robertson and Limbaugh. But this post is not about the heartless!

Sitting in sorrow and bemoaning the tragedy of Haiti may be understandable, but that time is over. Sitting and bemoaning is no longer an option. It is time to act, to do, to be people of compassion and hope. Each of us can do something. Even my fifteen-year-old son was able to text on his phone and give $10 to help. Can the rest of us not do at least the same?

Joy is not found in seeing anyone suffer. Joy is not found in sending soap or water or money. Joy is in living with compassion and hope that is deep enough to be shared infinitely.

I'd love to hear how you are responding to the plight of our Haitian sisters and brothers. Share your thoughts and share your joy.

A Time to Lean (excerpted and adapted from 1/10/10 sermon)

2010-01-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

“It doesn’t interest me how old you are…I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it…It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.” from The Journey by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Loss is a common experience. Everyone has experienced loss at some point, on some level, in their lives. I can imagine preaching several months' worth of sermons on the topic of loss/grief! There are numerous losses that are not literal, physical deaths: divorce, job loss, financial crisis, relocation, health crisis, etc. I was struck by something I read recently that asserted every loss is a death of sorts and we need to allow ourselves to grieve. I couldn't agree more. Indeed, grief is the normal, natural and necessary inner experience of loss. And in the best possible scenario, each person will grieve in a way that is normal and natural and necessary for their healing.

While it is quite interesting that some recent research has argued against the well-known stages of loss identified by Dr. Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, what is important to remember is that it is possible to pass through each stage more than once, and even be in more than one stage at a time. Grief is not a cut and dry process. Grief is rarely neat and tidy; more often messy and complex.  I love what Unitarian Universalist minister, Christine Robinson, says about grief - "Perhaps it's about finding a new normal."

I would posit that none of us can make it on our own, most especially in times of loss and grief. We need each other to help us keep things in perspective and remind us what matters most. This is a huge part of being in a religious community.  I did say "religious" community, not a social club, neighborhood group, or other type of community, as worthwhile as all of those may be. Consider the definition of religion by a much respected Unitarian Universalist Statesman (my term of endearment for him) whose death just a few months ago deeply affected many people, the Rev. Forrest Church:  "Religion is our human response to the dual reality of being alive and knowing we will die."   Being part of a religious community such as the one that I am privileged to serve means engaging with each other in a process of responding to life, knowing that we won't have it forever. We are a community of faith - trust - that allows us to journey together in the questions, the uncertainty, love and hope.

While grieving is a journey, no one needs to be on that journey alone. Part of our healing is in the connection we experience with one another. The connection I speak of is an ability to lean on one another from time to time. In loss and grief there is a time to lean. Religious community is more than just a shoulder to cry on or a meal delivered. A religious community can give those things and encourage you to continue your journey.
There will undoubtedly come a time when each of us will lean and when each of us will in turn let others lean upon us. This is what it means to be fully human.

One of my dear seminary professors, the Rev. Dr. William Murry, has said, "To be human is to know loss, and, indeed the more fully human we are, the more loss we will know and the deeper we will feel the losses for the more we love and care, the more we have to lose.” Those who do not have the blessing of a religious community in their lives may not be cognizant of the reality that to be human – to be fully human – means knowing loss while realizing strength by the gift of leaning on one another.   In this knowledge and in this experience there is joy.

That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying
I went closer, and I did not die.
Surely God had His hand in this, as well as friends.
Still, I was bent, and my laughter, as the poet said, was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel (brave even among lions),“It’s not the weight you carry but how you carry it – books, bricks, grief – it’s all in the way you embrace it, balance it, carry it when you cannot, and would not, put it down.”
So I went practicing. Have you noticed? Have you heard the laughter that comes, now and again, out of my startled mouth?
How I linger to admire, admire, admire the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe also troubled – roses in the wind, the sea geese on the steep waves, a love to which there is no reply? "

(written by poet Mary Oliver after the death of her partner of over forty years)

May we all find the courage to touch the center of our sorrow and be with it for the time it needs us to. May we all have faith that healing will come. May we grieve our losses and may we have the strength to lean.

Pushmi-Pullyu Epiphany (from today's sermon)

2010-01-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

A world-renowned veterinarian, who speaks a wide array of animal languages, including Dodo and unicorn, starts off from his home in Puddleby-on-the-Marsh, England, in search of the Great Pink Sea Snail. The Great Pink Sea Snail is an amazing creature you could actually ride inside! In his adventures, the vet and his friends meet other amazing and exotic creatures like the Giant Moon Moth and the Pushmi-Pullyu. I am referring to Dr. Doolittle - my favorite movie as a child. I saw the film when I was just five years old and it has remained a favorite film; a delightful mix of fantasy and reality. I’m pretty sure the reason I’ve always loved it so was because I’ve never been a big fan of cartoons and animation. I like to watch “real” people and animals, albeit the Dr. Doolittle story is much more fantasy than reality!

But I don’t know why my favorite animal was the Pushmi-Pullyu. If you’re not familiar, the Pushmi-Pullyu was an imaginary creature resembling a llama or an antelope, but with a head at both ends. I have often felt like the Pushmi-Pullyu in my life. Being pushed one way and yet pulled in the opposite direction at the same time. Feeling as though my heart is being pushed and pulled in two different directions; not quite sure which of the two directions to follow, or which area to put my full energies to. I have a sneaky suspicion that I’m not alone in feeling this way. It’s interesting to note that in extended usage, the name ‘Pushmi-Pullyu’ is used to mean something which is ambivalent or incoherent. Wow, that’s not how I want to live this New Year, or start this new decade!

While I have no desire to continue the Pushmi-Pullyu dance of life in 2010, inevitably that’s what winds up happening – pushing some things away and yet pulling some things closer, all at the same time! The problem is that the Pushmi-Pullyu doesn’t get anywhere. With all the pushing and pulling, the Pushmi-Pullyu winds up right where it started because the pushing and pulling are too deeply entwined.

Life is indeed a dance. It is a dance of balance, of follow and lead, of spin, bow, bend. But perhaps it’s time to drop the Pushmi-Pullyu moves and try something new. It’s the dance that includes letting go before grabbing on. After all, from my life experience, I know it to be true that one can only hold as much as one is willing to let go of, in order to make room. What a great time for making room – the New Year.

And here we are on the first Sunday in 2010. In the Christian calendar the Feast of the Epiphany will be observed on Wednesday, Jan. 6. It will be the "Twelfth Day of Christmas", the last official day of the Christmas season (and you were breathing a sigh of relief thinking it was already over). Prepare yourselves as this is the day when your true love gives you "twelve drummers drumming"!

The epiphany comes from the biblical story familiar to many. It is the tale of the wise men, or magi, and it speaks of an awakening. Epiphany means the sudden realization about the nature or meaning of something; a sudden intuitive leap of understanding. For our lives today, epiphany is an ‘a-ha’ moment in our journey. Each year of our life offers us a new stretch of road to travel and the opportunity to experience epiphanies. Some of those epiphanies may arrive through much turmoil and struggle, crisis and loss. And some of those epiphanies may not seem so sudden at all. But we can’t experience the epiphanies in our lives if we choose to live as the Pushmi-Pullyu. We are guaranteed to miss the epiphany if we live with ambivalence or continue the old, familiar dance of push and pull; grabbing without also letting go.

I encourage you to spend some time in these first few days of the New Year pondering these questions: What new epiphany is waiting to be realized in your life right now? What do you need in order to reach out and grab what’s waiting for you? What do you need to change or end in order to make room in your life for the new to emerge? What do you need to let go of?

There is joy in the dance called life. May you find that joy, let go, grab on, and be blessed with epiphanies in 2010!

Good bye and good riddance!

2009-12-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

I will admit it. I'm doing the happy dance just thinking about 2009 leaving, and 2010 arriving! Of course, I know there are lessons in all the crisis, and trauma, and ugliness, and sadness that was 2009. Yes, I do know that there were times of joy and laughter, happiness and hope. But I have never before felt so ready for a new year to begin; primarily because I can't wait to give the old year a swift kick out the door!

It's been a rough year for so many people that I know personally; family, friends, congregants, colleagues. It's been a rough year for our country and for our planet. 2009 was a year I'll never forget but would never want to re-live.

And here comes 2010! It will likely hold some of the same sorrow and trials, but I'm hoping that I've learned a little something in 2009 that will help me to be a better person in 2010. I'm hoping that what I have learned from the difficulties in 2009 will enable me to better handle the difficulties that may present themselves in 2010. Is it too much to hope that others will have learned something too, and that they might also be better people and make better choices, and handle our interconnected lives with a bit more civility and compassion? Don't get all cyncial on me now. Let's say it together, "Yes, we can"!

There is joy is saying good bye to 2009. There is even greater joy in saying hello to 2010, for the new year holds promise and possibility not yet experienced.

A congregant of mine sent out New Year's wishes that gave me a laugh. I joyfully share with you:
My Wish for You in 2010

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had, forget your home address!
In simple words ............ May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!

Time to chuckle

2009-12-23T14:01:00.000-08:00

If you are in need of a good chuckle right now, check out the link below.

My family is happy to provide some laughs in this season that can be so stressful. Sometimes it's just plain old fun to laugh at yourself and feel like a kid again. We elf ourselves each year and this year we share our joyful silliness with you! Elf yourself and spread the joy! http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/FB0F10JFhaTwFAC6

A light in the dark

2009-12-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I led a worship service that focused on the celebration of the Winter Solstice. It never ceases to tickle my fancy when I share with the congregation that the origins of what most people call "Christmas" have pagan roots. I enjoy reaching back into ancient history and connecting with those roots. It is in the honoring and celebrating of the Winter solstice that I take time to consider the importance of darkness in my life. This is a time when I embrace the darkness with full hope of the light returning.

I won't pretend that embracing the darkness is easy, or even 'enjoyable'. The darkness can be painful. It is loss, crisis, transition, turmoil, and uncertainty. But the darkness is also a time for pause; for regrouping; for resting; possibly for re-evaluating life and what is truly important. I am learning to embrace the darkness with faith that the light will return. I have come to know, through my own dark times, that the light of love is never completely absent, even in the darkness. It is germinating and gaining strength for the day when it will blossom once again. That's what the holiday season is all about - the light of love ready to be born anew in our lives.

Whether your celebration is about a baby named Jesus, or oil in a lamp, or the sun returning as the wheel of the year is turned, or any other number of special traditions and rituals, be not afraid of the dark. Know that each and every one of us experiences darkness. It has been a part of the life cycle since the beginning. May the light of the holidays remind us all of the light of love that comes after the darkness; bringing us peace and opening the door to joy.

Tis the Season

2009-12-09T11:59:00.000-08:00

     Tis the season to get overwhelmed! That's what I say. Or maybe that's just a good excuse for not posting to my blog in nearly a month. Truth be told, I've been overwhelmed with much joy, in addition to the usual holiday stress.
     Thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday when you've spent nearly forty years celebrating with lots of family and now it's just three around the table. It's not that I'm not grateful. I'm especially grateful that there are three of us to spend the holiday weekend together. I'm grateful for the years of memories - Thanksgiving past. I'm grateful to be healthy and able to make new memories. But I'm also melancholy. That's just the way it is.
     And now Christmas is nearing, with the solstice and other seasonal celebrations in between. More to be grateful for. More joy amid the chaos. More opportunity to give to others. Many of us give and receive many gifts at this time of year. It starts with the gift of autumn and harvest and goes right into the new year. Gifts of color in the leaves and landscape that delight our eyes. Gifts of sweet and savory that delight our tongues and tummies. Gifts of warmth that delight our chilled bones. Gifts of harmonies that delight our ears. Gifts that are exchanged, returned, re-gifted, and gifts that tickle our funny bone. But the best gifts that we can receive and give are those that have no weight at all.
     Here are the words about such gifts that have inspired my heart, from Richard Gilbert:
Gifts that matter have no weight.
They are without substance.
Gifts that matter most are given to us by the Hand of Life in grace:
Moonlight on fresh-fallen snow,
Frost delicately etched on a window pane,
crackling fireside, bright because of who is there,
aromas of cooked food betokening a family feast,
reunion of those long separated,
memories of holidays past, gone but not forgotten,
anticipations of the new year yet to be,
gift-givers whom we love,
the gift of life itself.
Gifts that matter have no weight.

May each of us find joy in this season; giving and receiving gifts that have no weight!

When I Grow Up I Want To Be An Old Woman

2009-11-14T12:46:00.000-08:00

I have always had an affinity for the elderly. It's true. Two of my best friends, when I was just seven years old, were elderly sisters who lived next door. They would have been referred to as "spinsters", but to me they were facinating and, quite frankly, often more fun to be with then children my own age!

In my congregation, if you are eighty years old, or older, you can attend a special tea that is held every few months for the church elders. If you are lucky enough to be the partner of an elder, you can attend too! It is a highlight of my ministry. Hosting the Minister's Tea means setting a table of delectable goodies, planning singing or sharing or games, always having a couple of prizes to give away, and settling in for a very special afternoon of fellowship with my heroes. Being in the presence of such wisdom and incredible life stories is a gift beyond joy. I ask myself, "How did I get to be so fortunate to be able to serve these women and men as their minister?"

This may all sound a bit saccahrine, I know. But if you were there...... If you sat at the table and sipped coffee or tea with these elders...... If you listened and watched as they shared the photos of themselves as youngsters..... If you felt their sense of triumph as they told about turning points in their lives...... If you... Well, all I can say is, when I grow up I want to be an old woman!
My Granny is 81 and gorgeous!

I posted just a few days ago about grandparents and how much I miss mine that had passed away. There is a connection with grandparents and the elders in my congregation that I have tea with. There's a connection between each of us and those who have gone before us. I often get so busy with 'life' that I lose sight of all the struggles and sacrifices, and lessons learned and dollars earned by those who have gone before me. All that those elders who are still with me have done to pave the way. I owe a debt of gratitude for so much joy in my life today that was paid in part by elders. I will thank them with words. I will thank them by holding their memory in my heart. I will thank them by living my life as best I can and growing into an elder that inspires others as I have been inspired. I will repay my debt by finding joy, living joyously, and sharing joy with others.

Thank you, my dear elder friends.

For the love of Grandma

2009-11-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

Someone I know became a grandparent two weeks ago. Finally! She and her husband had been waiting for the day to come when their only child would have a child of her own and they would become beloved grandparents. I couldn't be happier for them! Yes, I love babies too! But this post is not about babies. It is about grandparents.

It was just a few weeks ago that I was thinking of my own grandparents. I have three who are no longer living, and one who is. I am one of the lucky ones - one of the lucky grandchildren who was provided opportunities to get to know and spend time with my grandparents as I was growing up. They didn't live close by and I didn't spend inordinate amounts of time with them, but the time that we spent together will forever be a part of my life. Even at forty-six years old, I miss my Papa and Grandmother & Grandad terribly. It's been years since they passed away but some days I find myself missing them to the point of tears. I love my Grandma and wish she lived closer. She is an inspiration to me - feisty even as she faces the sunset years of her life.

You see, a grandparent can be a very special person in a child's life. A grandparent's love is unique and precious. The wisdom and guidance that a grandparent can offer doesn't have to come from formal education, traveling the world, or socializing with the elite. My grandparents had little education, never traveled out of the country or very far from home, and lived what most people would consider a simple life.

I have always loved my grandparents, but never fully appreciated them until I became an adult. As an adult I began to understand the loving concern that my Grandmother had for me when she slipped little envelopes containing 'Dear Abby' columns about sex and relationships into my coat pocket. I began to understand the incredible work ethic that my Papa and Grandad had; working themselves to the point of exhaustion day after day in order to provide for their household. I began to understand that being Grandma didn't have to mean rocking in a chair and knitting. It could mean jumping on a trampoline and hanging from the monkey bars!

We are coming into the holiday season and I always have my grandparents in my mind and close to my heart at this time of year. Joy is having grandparents to love and to be loved by. Joy is having beautiful memories of grandparents whose lives help to shape your own. Hug your grandparent, call your grandparent, cherish the memories of your grandparent. Someday you might just have the honor of being a grandparent yourself! Be still my heart!

Uncomfortable Joy

2009-10-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, I spent a lovely half hour or so speaking with a local television reporter. The reason for the conversation was an announcement I had made to my congregation just a few days prior. It was the announcement that I will refuse to sign any and all marriage licenses until marriage equality becomes a reality in California. When I made this announcement to my congregation, and in the many months of deep reflection that led to my decision, I hadn't thought about it being particularly newsworthy.

I have been interviewed a few times in the past year when the Prop 8 issue was hot and heavy. I traveled to the state capital and testified before lawmakers on behalf of the couples and families whose lives and relationships were being threatened. I spoke at a rally after the election when so many of us, gay and straight alike, were trying to copy with the pain of loss. Most recently, I agreed to serve on a statewide Marriage Equality Leadership Team steering committee. That is when I began to examine and question my actions as someone with the authority and power to sign marriage licenses; to validate a relationship between two loving individuals.

My decision to announce my personal 'protest' was not made lightly. As I shared with my congregation, taking the step out of my comfort zone wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. But the risk I took in making such a decision, and then making such a public announcement, pales in comparison with others who have taken risks to stand on the side of love.

The news reporter seems to think that this is indeed an important story to share and I am grateful for his interest. I can only hope that I made it clear to him, as well as to others with whom I've shared my decision, that my primary motive was not to change minds about marriage equality. I realize that may sound odd, but it was not my primary motive. If, as a result of my decision and perhaps as a result of someone hearing about it through this television interview, minds are changed, that would be a wonderful benefit. But my primary motive was about integrity and authenticity.

I was ordained as a minister in the Unitarian Universalist faith. It is a faith tradition with an incredibly rich heritage and history of women and men who have taken risks to speak out against injustice and who have taught me that compassion and respect are values to be lived and shared. That faith calls me to stand on the side of love. It does not call me to sit on the sidelines in my rocking chair of comfort. I am called to stand on the side of love no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it might be. How can I live my faith fully and answer that call if I continue to sign marriage licenses as an agent of a state that practices discrimination and oppression? Simply said, I cannot.

There is joy in my decision, as uncomfortable as it was to make it, and as uncomfortable as it may prove to be in the coming months. I know that there will be couples who will go elsewhere for an marriage officiant, either because of the inconvenience of having the county clerk sign their license or because they do not agree that all of our brothers and sisters deserve marriage equality. I know that there will be some members of my congregation who will disagree with my decision. There is another truth that I know. That truth says that in order to be true to my call as a Unitarian Universalist minister I need to walk the talk and take a stand.

I choose to stand on the side of love. I choose the uncomfortable joy.

Sweet days of Autumn!

2009-10-19T16:34:00.001-07:00

There is nothing like a beautiful drive to Julian, California, to bring immense joy to my life! Autumn has always been my favorite season, and living in San Diego has made it a bit challenging to reconnect with the season I love and associate with the smell of burning leaves and crackling logs in the fireplace; the taste of fresh apple cider; the sight of jolly orange pumpkins and speckled gourds; the feel of crispness in the air. This is where a drive to Julian comes in order.

I've been sitting around lately with my mysterious illness that is supposedly Epstein Barr virus, and longing for the energy that Autumn usually brings me. Even in San Diego, where the seasons are football, baseball, basketball, and you-name-it-ball, the air does change slightly and I convince myself that Autumn is here. But today I needed a jumpstart in the joy department and so convinced my husband, son, and dog, to take a drive. It didn't take much convincing. We all needed a little Autumnal joy! It was slightly thrilling to pack our jackets in the car as we headed out. All four of us excited at the thought of what was awaiting us just an hour away.

It never ceases to amaze me. Nature, that is. I will be the first to admit that I'm not really much of what you would call an outdoorsy type. But I can fully appreciate, and be completely awed at, the wondrous beauty of the mountains and the magnificence of the foliage. It is the natural world of earth, wind, fire, and air that inspires me to a place of joy and gratitude. I am grateful to be feeling better than I did a week ago and find joy in knowing that I will feel even better two weeks from now. I knew all along that I would feel better eventually; that I would return to the congregation that I love; that I am so blessed to have a loving family and caring friends. I knew it somewhere deep in my being and yet it took today's trip to the little mining town of Julian, for me to claim it.

May you be blessed with the inspiration and joy of nature in this season of Autumn, wherever you might live. Joy from Julian!

65 years and counting!

2009-09-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted, but that's not because I haven't found any joy lately! On the contrary I've had much joy and been inspired by some lovely people, places, and things.

On Sept. 20th, my husband and I celebrated 17 years of marriage - 17 years of joy mixed with struggle, pain, and lots of laughter. We didn't do anything special on our anniversary. Well, I guess I should say that we didn't do anything special on our anniversary that was private or "all about us". We spent our anniversary doing some of the usual Sunday things that a minister's family does. But when the afternoon rolled around we prepared to celebrate - celebrate another anniversary far more auspicious than our own. A dear couple from my congregation was celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary and I was conducting a vow renewal ceremony at that celebration.

Imagine a 50-something, heavy-set belly dancer, fully & tastefully dressed senior hula dancers, a high school bag pipe player, guests wearing plastic leis and big smiles, a beautiful mountain view, and a wedding couple in matching flower print garb. Throw in various whimsical treats found throughout the house and grounds, like a little chocolate fountain in the kitchen, a bubble-blowing machine on the roof, an incredible Paddington Bear collection in the living room, a DJ playing 1940's tunes exclusively, various finger foods and lots of sangria, and you've got the makings for a very unique party!

The vow renewal was short and sweet and included the two grown daughters of the lovely couple. There were giggles from the gathered family and friends when I pronounced them "husband and wife for life", and the kiss (yes, the groom insisted on kissing the bride as part of the ceremony) was enough to make anyone smile with tears in their eyes.

Because of our ages, I know that my husband and I won't make it to 65 years, but we are so grateful for the 17 we've had already and the many more we hope to have. We were inspired by the celebration and vow renewal of our dear friends and we received the great gift of joy that day - our anniversary day - that we will always remember.

Isn't it remarkable how someone else's joy can be so contagious that you not only catch it, you can't wait to infect yet someone else?! Here's to infectious, contagious, beautiful, everlovin' joy!

History was made today!

2009-09-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

AB1242, the Human Right to Water bill passed the CA state Senate today!

This is the first human right to water bill to ever make it through a state legislature in the US. This bill makes sure that all of our sisters and brothers in California have access to clean water. I did just a little work on lobbying for this bill through the Unitarian Universalist Legislative Ministry (UULM) of California. Some members of my congregation signed letters and many UUs have called their elected officials about this bill. What happened today is truly amazing. I am filled with joy to have been a part of this justice-making work. The bill will need approval of the Governor, so there's still work to be done. Check out UULM's website: uulmca.org
We can make a difference - every single one of us!

One year closer to 50!

2009-09-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks 46 years that I have been a part of this world. Of course, that's 46 years of all kinds of joy, mixed with sorrow, confusion, anxiety, excitement, and occasional boredom! I've spent many years trying to recreate the "joy" that I felt as a child on my birthday. By that, I mean that I have bugged, nagged, and been a general nuisance to my husband and children; reminding them that my birthday was coming up, at least 2 weeks in advance. I made sure they knew the kind of cake I wanted and where to get it. This year is different. I've decided to enjoy my day as it unfolds, whatever it holds. And I must admit that I'm feeling good about it already!

Living in the moment sounds good, and may seem like an easy task. I've found it to be fairly difficult. I can imagine that there are probably many people like myself, who want life to look a certain way, feel a certain way, to the point that we expend inordinate amounts of energy and time on creating our 'ideal', only to miss out on so much of life's unexpected joys.

Birthdays are funny things. I know more people who say they dislike birthdays than those who say they like them. I know several people who claim, "I don't have birthdays anymore". Well, I've always loved them. No, I haven't "loved" getting older, but I love celebrations! And what better to celebrate than another year of life? But I do wonder how often people actually take time to reflect on what they've learned in the past year and what lessons they might take with them into the next year of life? I don't know that I've ever done that before. This year will be different. I will use this year's birthday lesson of letting go of expectations and enjoying life as it presents itself as a guide for my 47th year. Who knows? I might find even more joy in even more unexpected places!

The truth is that none of us knows how many more years we have to live. We don't know how many more birthdays we have to celebrate. May we enjoy, celebrate, and appreciate our life each day, each moment, each joy. Happy birthday to you!

Father Larry Lorenzoni: Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the
longest.

2009-09-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

A dear friend and colleague posted the following video on Facebook. Thank you Fred! I didn't bother to look at it until today. I'm so glad I did. For me, it started out bizarre-scary, but then got to the point where I was laughing hysterically. That's a good thing!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6EYrqIn0yI

In difficult times, we need to laugh when we can.

Laughter brings me joy and this video just cracks me up.

Today it's difficult

2009-08-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

This afternoon a congregant of mine died. While he wasn't in good health to start, this came rather suddenly and my heart has been heavy today. I grieve for his family. I grieve for the congregation, as this is the fourth death in just a few months time. Today it has been difficult to appreciate and embrace joy. It's not that it hasn't been there for me, it's just been difficult to reach out and grab it.

A sparkle of joy crept into my being this evening (I must have left the door open a tiny bit!) as I watched the local high school marching band practice their drill. Seeing nearly one hundred teenagers working so hard, with such amazingly positive attitudes, how could I not smile? Tonight I choose joy. Tomorrow may be just as difficult as today, but tonight I take a break from my grief and I choose joy - teenagers making music and marching with precision!

Joy and Sorrow

2009-08-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

I found this great video the other day and posted it on Facebook. I hadn't thought much about posting it here, as I hadn't considered there being much joy connected with the video. As I've reflected on it, and gotten comments from others who have been touched by the video, I realize that once again this is an example of the sorrow and joy of life being linked together in ways that are not often obvious. Check out the video.

http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3808

There is no joy in homelessness, but there is joy is being able to share a touching piece of art that may educate and inspire people to do something about homelessness. There is joy in knowing that this video was made with just $57 and yet won an award at a short film festival.

Opportunities to bring joy to others present themselves every day in our lives. Give someone a dollar or a cup of coffee, offer a smile or a hug, share a video!

Oh Baby!

2009-08-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

A colleague of mine posted some pic.s on Facebook last week of his beautiful newborn son. Seeing the photos of him and his wife cradling and snuggling that precious little one brought me to tears. I am without a doubt a soppy sentimental soul, and babies get me every time! Joy, joy!

In honor of my colleague's new baby, another colleague's baby due in Sept., and a congregant's first grandchild due in Oct., I wanted to post a "cute baby" image here and came across these. Obviously, these are not a real babies. The headline I saw with this image was "Marzipan Babies". Marzipan babies? Marzipan: that almondy-strange-sweet paste. Really? There were comments that accompanied the images, talking about the amazing talent of the woman who created these 'sweet' little things. You've got to be kidding. Oh, sure, the artist is definitely talented. But marzipan?! As it turns out, the mini babies are not made of marzipan. That was just a hoax. They are actually made from polymer clay. Now that makes more sense. It was just too creepy to think that those adorable little dolls were edible. Can you just imagine?

There are days when I miss cradling my babies, now 22 and 15. You don't have to be a parent to realize just how special children are. They are our teachers as much as we are theirs, and at some point they are our leaders. Look into the eyes of children and you will see your future. Consider some of the enlightened teachers of the world's great religions, like Jesus and Buddha. Their stories start with them as children. Their births are heralded with religious observance, national holidays, and lots of hoopla. But in the words of Sophia Lyon Fahs, an inspiring leader in Unitarian religious education, "Every night a child is born is a holy night." Every night. Every child. That includes you and me too.

Joy, joy! Bring on the babies, hold the marzipan.

Welcome to the 'silly season'

2009-08-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

We are officially in the 'silly season'. That's the time of year (mid to late summer) when ridiculously frivolous news stories abound as the more newsworthy events typically happen with less frequency. The silly season is a part of politics as well.

Have you seen the ad that chides President Obama for taking a vacation with his family? The same group of lovely people that created the swift boat ads created this ad. I saw it on MSNBC this morning. There are those who will claim the ad is really about voting down the proposed healthcare plan, and of course that is a large part of the message. But the obvious inference, even if not the primary intent, is that the president is foolish and careless to be vacationing right now.

Yes, I am annoyed, and even slightly angry about this ad and the sentiment that our president should not leave D.C. right now to spend some quality time with his family. Of course I want leaders who work hard, see tasks through to the end, and set an example of what it means to be committed and dedicated to their calling. But I also want leaders who make their family a priority, who see self care as a worthy practice, who set an example of what it means to have balance in your life. I'm not speaking of just our president, but of all those who serve as leaders; leading others by way of example.

It would be difficult to find anyone not hiding under a rock who wouldn't agree that this is a difficult time for our country. We're in the throes of a health care reform crisis (I have to call it such when people come armed to town hall meetings and bark out ridiculous claims of Nazism against those who favor the president's plan). We've got women and men in our armed forces dying in Iraq and Afghanistan. California's unemployment rate continues to climb. Racism is alive and well. I could go on and on. But realistically speaking, would there ever be a time when there is not a crisis of some sort, or there is nothing but peace, quiet, and harmony throughout the land? Only in my dreams! All the more reason that we need all of our leaders to take time now and again to rest their bodies, minds, and spirits; refresh and rejuvenate in order to return to the difficult work with a renewed strength. Balance the struggles, challenges, and disappointments with time for rest and joy. As a minister, this is what I do for myself and my congregation - take time to care for myself in order to better care for my people.

Please find time to work for balance in your life. Care for yourself and you will be able to better care for others. You may not be able to take a vacation to Martha's Vineyard next week, but you can find the joy in a small moment of rest for your body, mind, and spirit, and be grateful that you are not the president!

There's more joy somewhere - keeping looking!

Day 1!

2009-08-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is. This is the first day, first post, first public musing from the Pulpit of Joy.

It isn't an easy task to find joy each and every day, but I do believe that it is possible. Yes, call me the cock-eyed optimist, but joy is there. It may be, and often is, in the simplest of what I might consider the mundane moments of my life, but it is nevertheless there.

With the healthcare crisis looming overhead and the vitriol that's being spewed about at Town Hall meetings across the country, finding joy can be like a game of hide-and-seek. It is important to be angry when injustice continues to rear its ugly head. It is understandable to be disappointed when trust has been compromised. It is perfectly normal, and healthy, to feel a sense of loss, sadness, and grief, when your life journey takes a turn in that direction. But it is equally important to find joy. Balance is the key to a life fulfilled. Now I do not have the best sense of balance. As far as the balance beam of life goes, I'm no Shawn Johnson - not even close. But I do know the importance of balance and I will continue to strive for it; seeking out joy in my everyday life.

As for today, let me share that there is joy in the five minute car ride with an almost fifteen-year-old young man when the conversation goes beyond grunts of agreement or eyerolling (yes, boys do the eyeroll too) of disagreement. It is pure joy when you hear a smile in your child's voice and see a smile in your child's eyes. That is joy and for that I am grateful.

More to come from the Pulpit of Joy!